5 Reasons To Read My Lists

When the Commuter staff took it’s trip to the Associated Collegiate Press conference in San Diego this last week, we learned a lot about each other:
1. Twenty hours is too long to spend in a car with anyone
2. People that own boats are jerks
3. We all like lists
4. We like to make lists
5. We want to share some of these lists with you

Five reasons why Canada sucks
1. Eskimos.
2. I use honey on pancakes, I don’t need you.
3. We already took all your good celebrities.
4. Three Vowels? Greedy hosers.
5. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Five reasons why Greg’s hair is fantastic
1. You can leave him outside on a cold night without concern for his well-being.
2. Looks like you might be able to fit like 50 gummy worms in there.
3. Makes him easy to find in crowds.
4. It hides the scars.
5. You ever seen it? I don’t even need a fifth.
Five reasons why Gary is a better copy editor than you 1. He’s right. 2. You’re wrong. 3. He knows it. 4. You know it. 5. Its pronounced DIS-UHN-TER-EE. 6. He probably already found something wrong with this list.

Five reasons it’s better to be a werewolf than a vampire
1. You can grow a sweet beard.
2. Vampire rice is terrible.
3. No tuxedos and crappy accent.
4. Most public restrooms are only available during the day.
5. Wesley Snipes doesn’t want to kill you.

Five best things to say in a Christopher Walken voice
1. “Wow.”
2. “Gary, shut up.”
3. “He’s a nice guy, give him a chance.”
4. “We driving?”
5. “I don’t like ghosts.”